All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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