chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm too high and old for this...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Shame is for Republicans.
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