she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
