I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I didn't notice because vodka
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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