My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
how drunk are you?
Several
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize