Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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