I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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