4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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