Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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