Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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