positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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