You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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