....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Four minutes until I can fart!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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