just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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