Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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