I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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