Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
