I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
