This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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