I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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