Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
