dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
