You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
