the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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