areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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