And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
