He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
