So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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