Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize