I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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