Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
