Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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