it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
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No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
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I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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