I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
