Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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