It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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