There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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