he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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