i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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