Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize