I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
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I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit