question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.