Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.

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(734): View more from Michigan

We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon

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(501): View more from Arkansas

And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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(817): View more from Texas

I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.

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(970): View more from Colorado

He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.

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(209): View more from California

He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.

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