What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
