I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
