Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Randomize