Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize