I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
This is my gift to your gina
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
