Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
