i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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