12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
