Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment