Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara