my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she looked like the before picture.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
