I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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