Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Rumble strips road head = magical
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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