I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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