Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
