come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
